Giving Back

I may be a successful woman now, having carved out a career in the insurance industry and establishing my own estate planning company Legacy Edge. However, I didn’t get to where I am now without facing a deluge of hardships and adversities. Both my parents were vegetable sellers and I recall how often they used to argue over money due to my dad’s gambling habits when I was a child. Little did I know, that was only the tip of the iceberg.

A Childhood Like No Other

Things took a turn for the worse when I lost my father to SARS in 2003. Following my father’s passing, my family was saddled with $40,000 in gambling debts that my father had incurred. We endured an entire year of harassment from loan sharks until a kind relative decided to pay off my father’s debts when she struck the lottery. At the tender age of 14 then, I was frustrated, confused and scared.

In order to keep my family afloat, my mother would work overnight shifts at a factory and put in extra hours to make ends meet. Being the eldest amongst my siblings, I felt obliged to provide for my mum and 3 other siblings and hence, started doing odd jobs. While most of my friends were enjoying life in their teenage years, I spent mine peddling electronics from door to door, spending late nights stocking supermarket shelves and tutoring primary school students.

Despite receiving monetary support that included monthly school allowance, our finances were strictly controlled by my mother. I remembered my teacher repeatedly asking me to pay for some school materials despite telling her that I do not have the finances to pay for them. When she continued to question me, I eventually got frustrated and asked her if she wanted me to steal or beg in order to satisfy her. My teacher eventually paid for my school materials, a gesture I will always be grateful for.

I continued to work odd jobs throughout my junior college education and often skipped classes to be present for IT shows. However, my grades took a hit and I ended up repeating year 1. Determined to get a degree after my A levels, I enrolled in Singapore Institute of Management to earn my degree in marketing.

Juggling school assignments and work schedules was no easy feat. On top of all the stress and fatigue, I was also constantly hounded by my mother for money. I suffered bruises from punches and things my mum would throw at me, such as my laptop. Things got so bad behind closed doors that my siblings had to apply for personal protection orders from the police against my mum.

My mother was subsequently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, with my dad’s passing being a key contributing factor. While my siblings moved out in 2015, I stuck around with my mum as a promise to my dad to never leave her side. All the days of pain experienced in my very own home and all the nights where I only had instant noodles to eat left me feeling sorry for myself.

The Last Strand of Hope

But there is always light at the end of the tunnel. My part-time jobs gave me life because I was constantly exposed to people and the daily interactions I had such as giving advice and recommendations to people made me feel competent. The experiences I had played a big part in fuelling my desire to excel in life.

Even though I had little growing up, the help I received from government aid and support from random strangers who gave us food and toys during special occasions like Christmas brought happiness and comfort to my life.

I told myself that when I grow up, I want to be like them too, giving back to society, particularly to children. I understand what it is like to come from an underprivileged, low-income family, so I can imagine the joy on the children’s faces when they receive kindness from strangers. Most importantly, it gives them hope that society cares for their well being.

During the circuit breaker, I thought of ways I could contribute back to society. I started by volunteering once a week with Meals On Wheels, delivering packed lunches to senior citizens living in rented or single room flats.

However, I always believed that I could do more. With my knowledge and expertise in the financial field, I decided to launch my first webinar on how to start investing for my friends and social media followers, where proceeds will be donated to Singapore Children’s Society (SCS). We didn’t have much time to publicise the webinar, but I was blessed with 30 sign-ups.

The year 2020 has been tough for most of us. Due to COVID-19 and recession, charities are one of the most badly affected sectors as corporate donations have decreased by at least 30%. Upon hearing this news, I was glad that I could play my part in assisting the local community, while helping 30 people to gain the insight and confidence to start investing. The power of unity is unbelievable. With God’s grace, we managed to raise $1,170 together.

To all the participants of my first webinar, thank you. We couldn’t have done it without your amazing support. This is for all of us. Most importantly, this is for all the children that deserve a better tomorrow.

As I come to the end of my blogpost, I’ll like to share one of my favourite excerpts that reminds me to continue giving:

You cannot be depressed when you show up everyday to bring hope to people in despair.

You cannot feel lack when you give everyday to the poor.

You cannot feel alone when you truly seek to meet people's needs.

You cannot feel unworthy when you show others how precious they are.

You cannot feel ugly when you truly see how beautiful all people are.

You cannot feel you don't matter when you see that everyone truly matters.

You cannot feel unloved when you love others. Love is something you do.

What you don't give, you lose. If you don't have it, give it away to somebody today. Protect and keep the things you value by giving them.

― Dragos Bratasanu

Have an amazing day and I’ll see you at the next one!